familial tension

Avoid Familial Tension by Being Aware of These Stressors

May 13, 2023


Imagine that your body, mind, and emotions are in a perfectly balanced state where you feel everything is just right. However, we exist in a real world where something may happen that knocks you off that balance. The thing that knocks you off balance is what’s referred to as a stressor, while the discomfort itself is called stress. The world will always have stressors that cause different stress levels.

There’s positive stress, which keeps the body on its toes, and negative stress, which is harmful to the body. Stress can be crucial to the human body because it trains one’s mind in quick reactions in times of danger. Things like exercise may cause physical stress to your body which is a positive thing. Consequently, a cheating spouse may result in stress at home which will cause familial tension. Let’s take a look at some of the every day or not-so-common things that might put stress on a family.

1. Interrupted Sleep

An adult requires at least seven hours of sleep to function properly. There’s a direct correlation between lack of enough sleep and stress in the human body. One will lead to the other, and vice-versa. It’s, therefore, a harmful cycle. Confrontations with your boss at work will result in feelings of inadequacy. This may cause you to overwork in a bid to please the boss. Overworking will lead to a lack of enough sleep, which will cause stress.

Alternatively, some medical products can lead to irregular sleeping patterns. For example, medications such as dietary supplements, hospital prescription drugs, or even over-the-counter medication may lead to interrupted sleep or insomnia. Sleeplessness can also be caused by sleep apnea. For people who suffer from sleep apnea, their breathing may decrease or stop while sleeping, leading to a person waking up regularly and lowering their sleep quality. A CPAP machine can be used to combat this. To counter stress caused by lack of sleep, you need to understand what’s causing your sleep interruptions and address the root problem of this issue. Solving those issues will lower your stress levels; hence, a stress-free body will help you get a good night’s sleep and put a stop to the stop the stress-sleep cycle.

2. Marital Issues

They say a problem well stated is a problem half solved, a proverb that shows the importance of clear and concise communication. One of the biggest issues in marriages is the lack of proper communication. This quickly leads to feelings of isolation in marriage, causing familial tension. Familial tension will ultimately result in stress among family members. Such tension can be a result of failed commitments. For example, when you promise your spouse that you’ll carry out a certain activity and don’t do so. Failing to meet several promises will make the other party resent you.

Familial tension can also be caused by financial issues in a family. The issue of bankruptcy can be devastating. Being unable to provide for your family will lead to frustrations and feelings of shame. Some spouses may fail to communicate the issue to their partner, escalating the situation. Loss of employment may disappoint a father, who may decide to keep it a secret until he finds another job to support the family. This may lead to a series of several other bad financial decisions, such as depleting the savings and their children’s college fund. This spiral of poor decisions will make the guilty party very stressed.

This secrecy will heighten familial tensions because there’s a lack of transparency and communication in the marriage. In such cases, stay-at-home mums may be forced to look for a job to sustain the family, which may disorient the children and ultimately cause stress to the entire family. Differences in parenting styles can also lead to familial tensions. It’s important to ensure you share similar values with your life partner. For example, some parents have an age limit at which their children can own a phone, how late in the night their curfew should be, or how they should be disciplined.

A difference in religious beliefs may pose a similar issue. For example, if your spouse is a staunch Christian and you’re not, they may feel compelled to convince you of their beliefs or to parent the children according to them. A disagreement over this may cause familial tensions and stress in a family. Couples struggling with fertility issues may find themselves stressed from suffering disappointment repeatedly. The spouse may suffer guilt or blame each other in such scenarios. The treatment for infertility is physically and financially draining. The accumulation of all these factors can increase familial tensions.

Lack of intimacy in a marriage can cause feelings of rejection as the other spouse may feel unwanted. This may also result in loneliness and isolation in a marriage, which strains communication. According to the pew research center, infidelity is the leading cause of divorces worldwide. An unfaithful spouse causes familial tensions in a family. Cheating is a betrayal and breaks the fundamental trust in a relationship. It, therefore, makes the cheated-on spouse suffer stress due to feelings of betrayal.

Physical and emotional abuse leads to stress in a family. Emotional abuse is characterized by verbal abuse, berating, or gaslighting the other spouse. Such a home is a hostile environment for the children and the spouse suffering the abuse. It leads to stress and maybe the eventual breaking of families. Unrealistic expectations also lead to disputes in a marriage. Marriages are hard and require a lot of commitment and compromises. However, people rush into them only expecting a fairy tale without the grit to endure the difficulties. Failure of these high expectations being met results in disappointments and eventual stress.

Conflicts in a relationship are a positive and healthy thing. They help you work through issues and ensure both parties are heard. You can visit a family therapist as a couple or even with your children to try and solve conflicts in your marriage or within the family.

3. Divorce

According to research by Our World Data, marriages are becoming less and less common, with almost 50% ending up in divorce. When a couple can’t work on their issues, they may choose to go their separate way through separation, annulment, or divorce. The divorce period is often painful and difficult for all family members. While some divorces end up amicably and both parties are civil, some destroy families, and the parties may contest over property and even custody of children.

A divorce leads to stress in the family as members are separated from one another and uprooted from their homes. Children may experience feelings of guilt as they feel as if they’re to blame. It’s important to reassure children during a divorce and prioritize their mental well-being. Some spouses have prenuptial agreements or divide their finances throughout their marriage. While this may be another stressor in a marriage, it helps with dividing property at the end of one. You can involve a mediation lawyer in divorce proceedings so all family members can be heard.

Divorce is especially tough on children. It takes away the stability and the homes they’ve known. Children may need to spend time with each parent at different times. You’ll need a child custody lawyer to help decide the split custody of the children.

4. Drinking Problems

Addiction to drugs and substance abuse is a disease. Addiction doesn’t only affect the person suffering from it but affects the people around them as well. It causes familial tension and stress among spouses and family members.

Drinking problems are often accompanied by misuse of family finances, lying, and conflict over every small matter. The addict lies to their family members about quitting while the family keeps asking them to get help. This often results in conflicts and escalates stress in the family. Drinking impairs one’s judgment, causing one to make wrong decisions. For example, drunk driving may result in road accidents and earn one a DUI. This may require one to take a DUI class, while the road accident will cost the family money for automobile services repairing the car.

5. Changes

Human beings aren’t always welcoming of change because the human brain interprets change as a threat. Different changes within a family may cause some form of instability, resulting in members being stressed about the unfamiliar situations they find themselves in. The loss of a family member is a major change that’s met with pain, depression, and stress. Grief affects people differently and takes a toll on a family’s stability. The gap left behind by the family member can’t be filled by anyone, which may forever change those left behind.

When a divorce happens, parents are now forced to do the work previously done by both parents single-handedly. The children are not able to talk and interact with their parents together as before, and the parents have to adapt to a new way of doing things with less help. Such a situation is stressful and hard on the family members. They say health is wealth. Just as financial constraints take a toll on the family, major sickness by a family member causes stress and conflicts. Illnesses are often financially draining. Permanent disabilities or chronic illnesses may result in some family members abandoning their careers to be primary caregivers for the sick family member.

The holidays are the most stressful time for most families. Parents are expected to incur several costs for the holiday travels or celebrations. In-laws also visit over the holidays. Depending on the relationship among the extended family members, familial tension may be experienced. When a family is moving to a new house or relocating to a new area, the process can be tedious and stressful. Both children and parents are forced to leave behind the neighborhoods and friends they’re used to. A new environment can be jarring and uncomfortable and will take a while to get used to.

In this digital age of working from home, remodeling services are more than just financially demanding and disrupting for family members. While some faults in a house can be ignored for a while, leaks or molding require immediate attention from a roofing service, which can be stressful for those working from home. Indiscipline issues of children in schools can result from stressful situations at home. However, repeated indiscipline issues by children can also result in stress at home. Parents may sometimes struggle over the disciplinarian approach best for their kids.

A visit to a child therapist can help rehabilitate a troubled child. It can also help the parents to understand the issues the child is going through and help them as needed. Parents are more likely to listen to their children in the presence of a third party and not disregard their feelings. Parents should also talk to their children about decisions that affect them. Things such as moving schools and relocating homes affect children as well. It’s healthy for them to voice their opinion on such matters. Family members listening to each other will help reduce familial tension.

6. Adding a New Family Member

The prospect of adding a new family member can be exciting, whether it’s the birth of a new baby, a child being adopted, or a parent remarrying. However, changes to an existing family dynamic often present some challenges. For example, bringing home a new baby can cause sibling rivalries. A new spouse may find fitting in a bit challenging. Adjusting to a new family dynamic can be stressful for the parties involved. It’s not just humans; bringing a new pet home can also cause tension in the family as people disagree about who’ll clean up after it. The best way to avoid such conflict is to agree on who’ll take responsibility beforehand.

Stress-reducing remedies for general stress include exercising, a better diet, positive thinking, and meditating. Within families, however, skillful communication can foster understanding and encourage conflict resolutions that help the family combat stress. Use this read as a guide for stressors to avoid to prevent familial tension.

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