Over 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce. Although this might seem like a shocking statistic, it’s one that should give you some relief if you’re currently undergoing a divorce. It’s important to remember that you are not alone, and there are always ways in which you can get back on your feet and begin to feel better after a divorce. The financial, emotional, and even physical toll of divorce is never easy, but it is something you can get through. From finding social support networks to starting new with you and your family, there are many ways you can get back on your feet after a divorce and even make life better afterward! Below are some of the best pieces of advice you can use after your divorce.
1. Hire an Accountant
When you begin the process of divorcing your spouse, it’s equally important to get the help of an accounting service as much as it is to get the help of a divorce lawyer. Your accountant will be able to guide you through the proper protocol for separating your bank accounts, pulling money out of your accounts, and also setting up new tax information as a single, unmarried person. Although it might be a bit traumatic, it’s important to handle any financial issues as soon as possible when going through your divorce. This will make it easier, in the long run, to ensure all your money and assets are protected.
2. Hire a Family Lawyer
Even after you go through your divorce, there might be issues pending with family law, such as who will get custody of your children, when they will be able to visit, and whether or not visits will be monitored by a social worker or other officials. It’s best to hire a family custody lawyer that can fight for your right to see your children and strive to make custody as shared as possible. If your spouse doesn’t want shared custody, this will automatically pose an issue. There are also holidays, weekends, and summer vacations to consider. Speak to a family lawyer that can help you get the custody you deserve.
3. Continue Your Routine
During your divorce, everything can feel brand new and scary. It can be scary being alone, having to deal with lawyers, not being able to see your children, and living life during this stressful time. To help ease your anxiety, it’s best to stick to a routine even during your divorce. If you regularly go out with your friends for a cup of coffee on Sunday afternoons, continue to do this instead. The more you isolate and change your routine, the more anxious or depressed you might become. Continue to do the things you love.
4. Engage in Exercise
Speaking of depression, exercise has been shown to be just as effective as some anti-depressants in helping mitigate the effects of depression. Exercise not only produces feel-good chemicals in our brain known as endorphins, but it also gives us a boost of confidence. Exercise is, of course, incredibly important for your health. During your divorce, continue your exercise routine or start exercising now. Exercising will help you deal with the effects of depression, anxiety, and stress.
5. Engage in Meditation
Stress is one of the most devastating effects of a divorce. Dealing with lawyers, financial issues, new moves, selling your home, can all seem so overwhelming to deal with. Meditation is a great way to deal with the effects of stress before and after your divorce is finalized. Best of all, meditation only takes about 15 minutes a day to be effective. There are many guided audio meditations online you can easily use to relax your mind and engage in mindfulness. Meditation will help keep you grounded, put things into perspective, and help you combat negative thoughts that can be detrimental to your mental health after a divorce.
6. Seek Therapy
When meditation and exercise aren’t enough, it’s best to seek professional help from a licensed counselor or therapist. Going through a divorce or even a breakup in a regular relationship has been shown to have the same effects as going through grief. This grieving period can bring with it feelings of severe depression, denial, anger, and hurt. This is especially true if your divorce was due, in part, to the betrayal of one spouse. These feelings can quickly turn hostile and affect your overall mood. It’s never a good idea to ignore huge changes in your mood. If you feel your divorce is taking a toll on your mental health, there’s no better way to deal with divorce than to talk to a therapist. Unlike your friends or families, therapists are trained in knowing how to deal with negative thinking, have had experience dealing with other divorced people before, and have the time to give you some honest advice.
7. Explore A New City
Exploring a new city can be a fun and effective way of dealing with a divorce. You will need to move after your divorce, whether that’s one block over or to an entirely new city. Consider taking some time to explore options for new living arrangements. Take a trip to the town over, or to a city you’ve always wanted to live in but never had the chance to. If you find yourself in love with the city, consider whether or not it’d be a good fit for your family? Is there a day care service nearby for your children? Local parks? Ice cream shops? Explore and take the family with you for some much-needed fun time.
8. Pack All Belongings
Once your divorce is finalized, or even beforehand, you’ll want to start packing all of your belongings and getting rid of anything you don’t want to bring with you during the move. If you’ve been married for quite some time, chances are you and your spouse have accumulated many belongings over time. It can be emotionally difficult, yet relieving, to get rid of some of these items and start off new. Start packing early so you can get a head start when the time comes to move out on your own.
9. Have Your Lawyer On Standby
Unfortunately, not all spouses will be understanding, and some can begin to look for any small reason to pursue legal action. From not dividing property evenly, to looking for child custody services to find flaws in your parenting, some partners truly do just want to use up their lawyer’s time and make a divorce difficult. If you have an ex-spouse that continues to pursue legal action against you, have a lawyer on standby at all times to provide advice and protect you from any accusations your partner might make against you.
10. Consider a New Apartment or Home
When you’re moving out after a divorce, consider whether you want to stay with family and friends, rent for the time being, or move into a new home right after the divorce. If you already have a home with your partner, you will more than likely have to sell the home and then divide the equity evenly (or another way depending on what your lawyer sees fit). If you do buy a new home, it’s best to get the help of income tax services so they can help you file your taxes as single, and a new homeowner after your divorce. This type of paperwork can get complicated, so it’s best to seek professional help for accounting, taxes, and homeownership documentation.
11. Hire Moving Help
Once you decide on your living arrangements, it’s best to hire the help of movers after a divorce. With all the stress from everything going on, moving shouldn’t be one of them. Movers can help keep your items safe, guide you through the process of moving into your new home, and offer a bit of relief during the stressful period after your divorce.
12. Reach Out To Your Workplace
Take some time off from work after your divorce if you need to. There’s no shame in letting your workplace know of any issues you might be facing. You can always request to take leave under the family leave act, or you can simply tell your boss about your situation if you’re comfortable doing so. If you own your own business, consider having someone else run it for a bit so you can take time off and handle any legal and emotional issues you might face after the divorce. You can find excellent help through staffing services that will provide employees for you so you can focus on other things, like your mental health and well-being!
13. Consider a New Job
If you’re moving to a new city or town, consider taking a new job after your divorce. A new job is an exciting way to meet new people, change your outlook, and even gain more income. You can always ask to transfer office locations if your place of employment has another branch or office. Before your divorce is finalized, you can also reach out to different employers in various cities and try to land a job this way. Whatever the case may be, a new job is a fun way to get back on your feet and ensure you don’t face any financial difficulties after you move cities.
14. Clear Out Your Phone
You’ll want to make sure you’re doing everything you can to get rid of any unwanted memories that might bring up feelings of depression or even resentment. One of the best ways to do this is to clean up your phone of any old pictures of your spouse, change their name on their phone, and also start changing any passwords you might have shared with your ex-spouse. This will help keep your information protected.
15. Take Time Before Dating
It’s important to take time for yourself before entering the dating scene again. If you have children, consider how dating might also impact them and their feelings after a divorce. Take some time to truly heal from any heartbreak and ill feelings after a divorce before you start dating. You’ll be happy that you decided to wait until you could truly devote your time and energy to another person, rather than jumping into a relationship still grieving the loss of your spouse.
16. Change Appropriate Documents
Whether it’s reaching out to your county clerk’s office to change your name or your tax prep service to change your address on your tax returns, it’s important to change any documents that might contain your old name and information. If you took on your spouse’s last name, or if you two own a joint business, these are all extremely important to update with the latest information. Do so immediately after a divorce to help you cut legal ties with your ex-spouse.
17. Make a New Budget
After you’ve hired home sellers to sell your home, paid off all your lawyers, and paid all legal fees or even alimony, you’ll be working with an entirely new budget after a divorce. Sit down with an accountant and begin to make a new budget for yourself. This will ensure you stay prepared and don’t live outside your means after the divorce. Unfortunately, divorce can be costly, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be financially prepared after a divorce.
18. Spend Time With Family
Ultimately, the best medicine after a divorce is the support of loved ones and family. From your children to your friends, and of course, your close family members, these are the people that will be here for you through thick and thin to help you get back on your feet after a divorce. Try not to become isolated, and never be afraid to reach out to family members for help.
A divorce can be a difficult and stressful experience. However, it’s important you see this as a necessary step toward your future. If things didn’t work out with your spouse, see divorce as an opportunity to make a clean break and start your life anew! To help you put things into perspective and get back on your feet after a divorce, follow these tips above.